What the %&@# are you talking about?

As some of you know, I'm currently taking a masters degree online. This semester I'm taking one of the mandatory core courses, which is called "Making Sense of Theory in the Arts and Social Sciences". You can tell what kind of nonsense this course is just from the title. For the major paper, there were 6 questions to choose from. One of them was, "Identify a change in world view or societal values that, in your opinion, constitutes a paradigm shift." I e-mailed the professor to ask if I could write about same-sex marriage, and absolutely everyone I've mentioned this too felt that it would be an excellent choice. The following is the response I got back (thanks to Fino for his suggestion of posting it):

Hi David. I've received several MAIS 601 term papers in the past that try to frame the issue of same-sex marriage in terms of the notion of paradigm shift. I've taken some of the commonly repeated points from my own comments on these papers and assembled below what I take to be some of the challenges facing such a project:

First of all, when we examine the reasons most often put forward for accepting same sex marriage, they seem to rely on the same post-Enlightenment principles of equality and freedom that began to affect a real paradigm shift away from Medieval transcendence and toward modernist immanence in the 17th century. This is not really a new paradigm, then, but is the modernist paradigm whose full meaning has yet to be completely unfolded. In this light, the legalization of same sex marriage logically follows along lines similar to racial integration, women's suffrage, etc.

Also in this light, the opposition to same sex marriage looks more like a throwback to theocracy in disguise, introducing beliefs whose source of legitimacy can only be transcendental - whether that transcendental structure be nature, the divine, or a confused mix of both. Haven't the ideological justifications for the various oppressions always had to appeal to some assumed pre-social "nature" or "divine law"? For instance, women were once predominantly viewed as "naturally" emotional and irrational, whose proper place was domestic subservience and childbearing, and whose "place" was also established by God in a divinely ordained order in which the woman is subordinate to the man and the man to God. Similar uses of the concepts of "nature" and the "divine" can be found in racial oppression.

Thus it's not necessarily a good thing for supporters of same-sex marriage to appeal to nature (e.g. genetic predetermination) in order to justify legalization. Nature also produces diseases, and so this could play right into the hands to those who wish to regard homosexuality as a disease. Here closer attention to the Enlightenment paradigm would be helpful, for then we could see that any appeal to nature - whether to "naturalize" or "pathologize" homosexuality - is simply off the mark.

So in the end I remain unconvinced that the issue of same-sex marriage indicates a genuine paradigm shift. For that one would have to show that there is something in the redefinition of marriage that is decidedly not modernist and does not rely on Enlightenment principles of equality and liberty. To be sure, there are competing paradigms here. It's just that they're not new. What's often seen here as a new paradigm is, I think, merely a further implication of an old paradigm.

We are living in an era, however, that seems to be increasingly characterized by opposition to modernity in general and, in the context of this opposition, the rise of fundamentalisms around the world. Perhaps the really new paradigm here is the abortive fundamentalist hodgepodge that on the one hand wants to go back to a past that never existed and on the other wishes to reassert class privilege (whether that be the bourgeoisie in the Christian fundamentalist conflation of transcendence and "free market" ideology, the priestly class in Islamic fundamentalism, etc.).

Given these considerations, if you wish to proceed by all means go for it.

Believe it or not, my paper is now going to be a Marxist critique of Kurt Vonnegut's "Breakfast of Champions". Ahhh...graduate studies...when will they ever learn?

Let's laugh at the Islanders...again.

As many of you know, with their first-ever draft pick, the Ottawa Senators selected a Russian centre named Alexei Yashin. Over the next seasons, he turned into a star forward for them...although he disappeared in the playoffs. Then, he turned into a jerk and said that he wants more money. After he sat out an entire season, an Ontario court ruled that he still had to play the final year of his contract. Here in Ottawa, we knew he was a moron, and we wanted to get rid of him, and try and get something in return. As we know, it turned out to be likely the best trade the Senators have ever made. In exchange for Yashin, we got Zdeno Chara, Bill Muckalt, and the 2nd overall pick (Jason Spezza) from the New York Islanders. Sure...Muckalt did nothing, but Chara or Spezza straight up for Yashin would have been a good deal for Ottawa, because they're awesome, and Yashin sucks. This much we know. Let's laugh at them.

What we also know is that Long Island was so desperate to improve that they gave Yashin an insane contract worth around $90 over 9 or 10 years. I can't remember whether it was about $9 million a year for 10 years, or $10 a year for 9 years, or what, but it's still $90 million and a VERY long time to have a loser like that on your team. Idiots. Let's laugh again.

The tough thing about this contract is that even if he stunk up (which he's been doing) and even if they would want to trade him (which they no doubt would) nobody would take him. Even if all they had to give up was 'future considerations' nobody would take on that kind of contract...probably not even the Leafs or Rangers. Laugh some more.

Here's what we haven't thought of until now. As we are aware, the NHL and NHLPA recently ratified their new CBA...finally. It includes a salaray cap. However, it also includes a clause that teams can buy out their players for 2/3 of the worth of their contract. That means that certain teams will buy out some players that they threw a whole bunch of money at in the past, in order to free up some room under the cap. That means that Islanders finally have a way out of the Yashin fiasco, right? Keep laughing...not a chance! Who the hell has money to buy out the 5 years remaining on Yashin's contract? Maybe the Rangers...but even they would be reluctant to spend close to $30 million just to make Yashin go away! Ha-ha! Now, they have to keep him, and will have a lot less room available under the cap to sign anyone else.

Don't get me wrong...I have nothing against the Islanders per se. In fact, I like them very much...they gave us 2003-04's runner up for the Norris and our new #1 centre...in exchange for a major headache. I'm just laughing...that's all.

Book: Part #7

"Which one?" replied Giovanni. "There's more than one other Hinckley assassin?" barked Pimento.
"Well, technically it's Hinckley, Hinckley, and Hinckley, but that's a bit of mouthful."

Injustice

So I get a 15$ ticket for parking for over 3 hours on the side of a residential road in central Toronto. However, there is no sign whatsoever in the nearby vicinity stating that one cannot park there for a period of over 3 hours. So I was thinking of fighting this ticket, but in order to schedule a court appointment, one has to first go to an office somewhere to make the booking. Well I’m not going to spend $4 in bus fare to go and make the booking and then another $4 to appear before a judge (that’s $8) who may decide that I have to pay the ticket anyway. [Driving there is not an option anyway because I can’t afford car insurance in Toronto, my most recent online estimate with PC Financial (which I told them I had a G even though I only have a G2) was $6500. Anyways, they’d probably make me pay $15 in parking by the courthouse.] This is just another story of the little man being taken advantage of by those with greater power. The picture below reminded me of this recent event in my life, because the damned cop is writing a ticket to that emaciated homeless man. Only problem is that the homeless guy doesn’t have any ID, he can’t be traced, can’t be contacted, can’t be held accountable, doesn't have $15 to pay a fine. Therefore he will be carted off to prison, for the night or the week where at least he will get a warm meal of crushed canned corn and liquefied instant mashed potatoes.

Book: Part 6

The phone rang in a luxuriously appointed penthouse office.

Mr. Giovanni Fredericelli Hinckley II answered the phone, "Hinckley and Hinckley Assasinations, how may I help you?"

Pimento described the nature of his problem to Mr. Hinckley and then stopped abruptly. "Hinckley and Hinckley!?" He exclaimed angrily. "Who's the other Hinckley assassin?"

Caption #1

I know how much you guys love the caption game, so I figured I'd start it up again. Put your captions in the comments.

Book: Part #5

Perhaps it was time to call in reinforcements. Giovanni Hinckley was always an option. As a hired gun Mr. Hinckley had never let the Piscotti family down.

Book part 4

For you see, Dr. Hippoglossus has a rather delicate stomache. Italian food just does not agree. Mostly he prefers a meat and potatoes menu with a bit of sauerkraut thrown in for good measure. With his sturdy and muscular build one might think that Dr. Hippoglossus could handle most anything, but really he is one of those sensitive Alsations. What was Pimento going to do? How could he face his family with this problem?

Book: Part #3

The Piscottis have been celebrating Juneteenth every year dating back to that fateful day in 1865 when Padmore Piscotti heard from the legend General Gordon Granger himself that all slaves had been freed. Poor Pimento didn’t think he could handle another Juneteenth. All the bruschetta, ciabatta, focaccia, bresaola, cappellacci, tagliarini, conchiglie, mortadella and the scrumptuous cannoli siciliani would not sit well with Dr. Hippoglossus.

"Great Expectations" ->ilke the book! so cultured.. I WISH!

Is this your first time using Purolator that you are so surprised that their storage facility is so far out of the way and that they only work during business hours? Tommy, have you ever considered this possibility? That Purolator is running a business so that they make money. They are not running a business with the goal of making Tommy happy. For this same reason they do not tuck you in at night and kiss you on your forehead. It is reasonable to assume that such an enormous organization has found their current system to be most profitable and competitive. This is likely what the monkey woman you were speaking with on the phone was trying to relate to you. That nobody else does it, and they sure as hell have no reason to offer this service because it won’t make them more money. Along with her desperate plea to ask for some kindness because like most people, she hates her job and has nothing to do with the company’s policies asides for relating them to customer’s phone calls. Your frustration however is very reasonable. But people should just remember that for the most part, no one cares about you. At best they see you as a source to take utilize for their own purposes. Once you realize this your expectations will dwindle down to basically zilch. And if at any time someone does something for you for the sole purpose of being kind or helpful, you should feel and express tremendous appreciation.

Sorry for all the criticism. I was only being an $&%$. The point of blogs is to vent frustrations and give insight. Both of which you have done. However, I to am a monkey person! …………BaNaNaS

I know this should have been posted in the comment section. But I just wanted to present the fresh issue of expecting nothing and appreciating all that one does have and all that is done for a person. It is so good to end on a positive note. It means my meds are working. ~ l a t e r

Why is the world run by idiots?

Can someone please explain to me the logic of making residential deliveries exclusively between the hours of 8 and 5? I recently purchased a computer from Dell and gave Purolator my home address as the delivery location because I didn't want it delivered to work. I figured I might be able to pay extra for evening delivery. Nope! Apparently, such a service would make too much sense for the idiots at Purolator. Honestly now, what is the point of even making residential deliveries if they're going to be made exclusively during work hours. I will bet upwards of 80% of their deliveries don't get made. They may as well ship the products straight to their depots and save us money on shipping charges. Anyway, I spent two days calling Purolator repeatedly trying to figure out when the delivery would be made so that I could try to intercept it. Needless to say, I missed it. Then, I discovered that my computer was dropped off at the furthest depot possible. Furious, I called up Purolator and had the following conversation:

Me: Are you aware that your policy of making residential deliveries between 8 and 5 is idiotic?
Purolator Lady: Sir, none of the other courier services are any different.
Me (outraged at this stupid response): Yeah, well the other courier services don't have my computer now do they?
Purolator Lady: Sir, a lot more can be accomplished if you were calm and polite.
Me: I spent two days being calm and polite, and trust me, nothing got accomplished.
Purolator Lady: Why didn't you have someone sign for the package when it was delivered?
Me (even angrier at another idiotic comment): Because, unfortunately, I don't know anyone who sits at home all day awaiting Purolator packages!

At that point, I hung up, realizing that I was dealing with a talking monkey. But seriously, would a service wherein one can pay a few extra dollars to have their packages delivered on evenings/weekends be that difficult to implement? Honestly, do talking monkeys really mind working evenings and weekends? Would they even know the difference?

Oh Jersusalem! Woe to me ..

I don’t mean to be an apikores, but in my very unimportant opinion fasting is a terrible thing and should be optional instead of obligatory. I feel so sick right now. I was even sick before the fast started, with strep possibly. Due to my own stubbornness however, in an attempt to do the right thing, I continued fasting. Please share some of your thoughts and comments about fasting and the associated pain and anguish which I and perhaps others feel. Thank you.

wedding wonder

To all of you who made it to wedding (Gaby didn’t but only due to a very serious illness, you were missed, the wedding was postponed 4 hours in hope that you might be able to make it, refuah shelemah) it has probably become obvious to you that a cottage wedding is the best kind to have. It was beautiful, fun, pleasant, enjoyable, exciting. A cottage wedding is really the only kind of wedding. BBQ, stars, lake, loons, tent, fireworks, music, dancing, friends, family, pets … hope you get to see the pictures.

What's in a name?

Listen:

There are some names I like and some I don't. Some names I think are stupid. You may or may not like the name David, for instance. Never fear however, as I have discovered one of the worst (or best) names out there. You know what they say...parents are given ruach hakodesh when naming their children.

http://www.tsn.ca/nfl/news_story.asp?ID=130207

who in the where why?

Hi children,

I’ll get right into it. I’m living on Meadowbrook right now. It’s summer if anyone has noticed and I wanted to play basketball for some exercise and to try and work off some inner angst. So first thing I do is call a whole bunch of friends, but none of whom have a ball I can borrow. So I go out, and drop down a whole 10$ for a new one. I actually have one in storage, but it’s locked away and only Gaby knows how to get to the storage place. Anyways, I buy the ball and I head off to the school across from Shomrei Shabbos. But they removed the rims from the nets there, probably so that gangsters and trouble makers like me don’t loiter in the area and sell hard drugs. I also went to Bialik school, because they have like two dozen basketball nets at the back of that school, but lo and behold, I go all the way there to witness two dozen RIMLESS nets.

I appreciate the fact that huge corporate organization like private and public SCHOOLS absolutely abhor grotesque parasitic dependents, like KIDS and children of all ages; that they would hate to encourage any sort of healthy development and pastime over their summer vacations. I mean, it really does make sense from their point of view. Because when the trouble maker poor kids who couldn’t afford to go to a fancy camp and had to spend all summer hanging out in the neighborhood return to school in September, they will be so fat from inactivity and lack of playing basketball that they will be anchored in their seats at the back of the class and won’t be able to get up to disturb other people.

No one cares about these issues though and everyone hates younger people, probably out of jealousy, so I’ll just end this little discourse where it is, especially since it can go on and become and huge social critic about the many problems in our modern society.

In the mean time, enjoy your summer.

Anyone ever watch He-Man?

Hi everyone.. I don't have much time to post right now because I am fairly sure I can't bill myself out at $100/hour for blogging, but I wanted to draw your attention to a really funny website: http://www.hanttula.com/exhibits/freakyfood/. It's the Museum of Food Anomolies. I particularly like the Honeycomb Skeletor.

Movie Review: Batman Begins

Ok, my first problem with the movie is one that shouldn’t have ever made it into the movie. When writing a script for a movie the writer probably throws around a lot of different names for the characters in the movie, but ultimately settles on one name per person. Apparently the writers never sealed the deal in this one, because a third of the time the main character is called Bruce (pretty standard name), another third Wayne (again pretty standard name), and the other third Batman (not a very common name). A simple screening should’ve caught this one, and I was quite disappointed with the confusion that resulted. I spent the majority of the movie trying to figure out who everyone was, and I had to see the movie a number of times before I realized that Bruce, Wayne, and Batman were all the same person. For example, in one scene Bruce is trying to befriend the leading lady played by Katie Holmes, and in the next scene she’s getting all chummy with Wayne, and then five seconds later she’s wooing Batman. At first I thought “Geez, this movie must be trying to realistically depict the degradation of modern society’s moral values,“ but after multiple viewings I realized that they simply forgot to settle on one name for the main character.

On to the second problem. First let me state that I am not a racist. In fact I also thought it was time for a black Batman, but did he have to be a Rastafarian? On the other hand I thought that the Bob Marley soundtrack was excellent, especially Bob Marley’s classic “I shot the sheriff” which plays in a scene where Batman (played by Cuba Gooding Jr.) is trying to rescue Haile Selassie after he was captured by the top Narcotics team in Gotham.

Otherwise the movie was superb, far and away the best of the Batman franchise to date. The best part of the movie was definitely the surprise ending. Just as the climatic scene was about to come to a conclusion, they brought Pele into the movie and let him decide the fate of Batman, Hile Selassie and those darn NARC agents, with a penalty kick. A goal would send Hile Selassie to freedom and immortalize Batman as one of the finest superheroes in the history of film, a miss and it’s behind bars to a maximum security penitentiary for Selassie and his fury companion (did I mention the change in Batman’s costume?). I won’t tell you what happened, but my oh my was it a beautiful goal.

Gaby ‘n Fish movie rating: 4 out of 5 Stars