Congratulations to Roy Halladay

on another masterful start tonight. His stats on the year so far:

4-0, 2.28 ERA, 0.89 WHIP, 2 CG.

Recent Picture of Me

Someone help me!

A dead racoon seemed to have attached itself to my face and I cannot get it off. It makes my face itch.

The Day the World Changed

In The Know: Do You Remember Life Before The Segway?

Please Don't Hurt Me Maxiebaby

I was going to submit my usual content-less post, however out of fear of the physical and emotional abuse that I would receive from the Maxiebaby, I have decided instead to submit this hilarious news item. (I cannot be held responsible if you lack a sense of humour and fail to find this funny).


LINE FORMS TO LEFT FOR OPEN 'VIEW' JOB; ROSEANNE EARLY FAVORITE

Roseanne Barr has emerged as the top contender to replace Rosie O'Donnell next year on "The View," sources say.

A rep for Barr says she has not been approached.

"It's almost like that rumor that spread last month about how she was going to be on 'Desperate Housewives,' " said Barr's spokesperson.

"She's a piece of work, she's a character, she says what's on her mind and she's funny," said a source with knowledge of ABC's sudden and desperate search to find a new co-host to replace O'Donnell who quit the show last week.

"They're missing strong personalities on that show, and that's what they're going to need if they want to keep it going," an ABC staffer close to the situation told the Post.

During an appearance on "Larry King" last week, Roseanne danced around the question of joining the "The View."

"I'm not looking for the job," she said at one point - and joking at another, "Well, I want $10 million, like Rosie."

But she never said she wouldn't take it if offered.

Since last week's announcement when Rosie said she planned to leave the show in June, several names have surfaced as possible replacements.

Among them are Joan Rivers, Whoopi Goldberg, Kathie Lee Gifford and Connie Chung. Out of all of them, Roseanne seems to be the best fit.

"It's going to be hard for them to follow Rosie," says an industry insider. "Roseanne could be the only one capable of pulling it off."

Industry insiders have also suggested Bette Midler and D-lister, Kathy Griffin.

The job is particularly hard to fill for more reasons than just the difficulty of finding a new, strong personality.

The open chair is the No. 1 seat on the show, requiring a star who can, in effect, be the show's quarterback - moving the discussion along, introducing guests and other duties that a TV neophyte might not be able to pull off believably.

O'Donnell said Wednesday that she's leaving "The View" after one year because she and ABC could not agree on a new deal.

Insiders have said she wanted more control over the show and decided to quit when that was denied. O'Donnell had replaced former "View" co-host Meredith Vieira. Starr Jones, who also left the show last year, has yet to be replaced.

The Landlord

Will ferrel at his finest.

my one cent

The problem with censorship is that if you start censoring blog content, you’ll probably wind up just censoring bloggers who are the cause of too much content being censoring, sort of bite the problem in the butt (as I think the expression goes). For someone like myself, who doesn’t have any moral, ethical or religious standards to speak of, a person such as myself who has no limitations in terms of appropriateness and generally no self control, I would likely be the first to be kicked straight off, (kick the problem out with a boot to the butt, as the expression goes). Although, what would the consequences of that be? Just me being disgruntled and starting my own blog where I bad mouth each and everyone of you on a daily basis. Obviously some may say they would just not look at the blog, but would your curiosity really keep you away from all the lashon harah and lies being said about you, not to mention the consequences of everyone else reading up the slander I post. This type of thing is typical of censorship and therefore I would suggest that in order to solve the problem, we must cut off our internet entirely, all of us, and throw away all your computers into my garage, where I will take all precautions to dispose of them appropriately.

Censorship

I was somewhat disturbed by the number of people willing to limit their expression on this blog to images of non-nude non-fat people. (What about non-nude fat people? Or nude non-fat people?)

According to the founding constitution, this blog is supposed be an online representation of the OTI locker room. And that was certainly full of nude, fat people. Those who access this blog should expect no greater degree of moral propriety than one would see when walking in on someone singing Norwegian Wood in the almost-buff (complete with air guitar, if I remember correctly).

Let us all remember that by forbidding (or arbitrarily editing, Maxiebaby) certain forms of expression, we risk chilling other, legitimate and beneficial speech.

Let this post serve as an emphatic answer to Maxiebabie's question - Doesn't this blog have some kind of limitation on pictures of nude disgustingly obese people?

No, I say. For God's sake, no!

Blog Standards

Doesn't this blog have some kind of limitation on pictures of nude disgustingly obese people?

Edit: Also, the picture of the huge naked fat guy overshadowed the rather disturbing picture above it. What's that one all about?

What do you get when you have a bike race without bikes?

Mayhaps pour un Avatar?

i thought i would share a picture too, probably most of you will be offended by it

And a Few More...

A Couple More...

Another one

Also good for me or TF...

For Jon

Avatar Contest Submission

Good for me or TF!

I've Been Eliminated

Just thought I let everyone know that I missed the deadline last night, wasn't near a computer until after midnight, so unfortunately I'm out. Nonetheless I will continue to post as that is the whole purpose of this competition.

Coach Z was also eliminated.

Remaining in the competition are: Captain Salamander, Doughboy, Jon, Maxiebaby & Wife, and TF.

Avatar Contest

Here's my avatar submission...

Avatar Competition

Ok, here's first the first picture that I am submitting for the avatar competition:

The weekend got me:(

Is cheating allowed?

In this competition?

Another Shailah

I posted this at 11:30 central time. For me it is still Saturday, but for the majority of posters it is already Sunday. Does this count?

The competition

Should there be a requirement that some kind of substantive content is required?

New Competition!

Find an avatar for Jon and TF! Suggestions will be taken throughout the week with the winner to be announced on the upcoming Motz (hatip - Gaby N' Fish)...

One more exam...

One more exam and then I am the man...

Just checkin in...

Good Motz everybody.

Activity #03 for Jon: Find an Avatar

And while you're at it, you can get one for Tommy.

Alternatively, you could always set up a contest where the winner gets to choose an avatar for you and Tommy.

Tommy, what happened to your avatar? I was rather fond of that fellow.

My Career

This is what kind of lawyer I want to be.
Click Here to Watch

More Morons

I feel bad about my last post, not bad enough to delete it though. Actually allow me to qualify that last sentence by saying that I do feel bad enough to delete it, but when you factor my laziness into the equation it just barely pushes into the "no-delete" decision. Hope that makes sense.

Anyhow, I was saying how I feel bad about my last post and perhaps it wasn't the highest quality reading material, so I'm going to make another attempt at my Friday post. The sheer stupidity of the news item below is astonishing:

--------------------------------------------------

From ananova.com:

Cat 'gives birth to puppy'
People in China are flocking to see a pet cat which has reportedly given birth to a puppy.

The cat, in Zhengzhou city, gave birth to four kittens, one of which looks like a white poodle.

"It looks very different from the other kittens, and its mouth, nose and paws are all dog-like," says owner Zhang Qiming.

"Also, its tail is one centimetre shorter than that of the other three kittens."

Neighbours are pouring into Zhang's house to pay the cat-dog a visit, reports Zhengzhou Evening Papers.

Zhang says he has had the cat for more than two years, and she has given birth before but never to a dog.

"I always let her go as she pleases, to date other cats or play outside overnight," he said.




















Caption: This cat-dog was born into the wrong family, his owners are already planning the delicious feast that he'll become in a just short while (I'm told puppy cat-dog is the venison of the dog family).

--------------------------------------------------

My favourite line from the article has got to be the owner allowing his cat to "go as she pleases, to date other cats or play outside overnight." Although the owner saying that "she has given birth before but never to a dog" is definitely a close second. Such stupidity is beyond my comprehension.

Radio Free Vestibule

I have not heard RFV in ages..thank you youtube!

It was all a joke

So, Miss Crow was only joking about the one square thingy. I thought it would be prudent for me to be the THIRD BLOGGER to point this out.

Back from Square 1

It turns out that Sheryl Crow says that she was only joking, so you can all return to your old habits.

More Will It Blend?

OK, I need a post before Shabbos to stay in the competition, but I got nothing. I think the Will It Blend videos are quite amusing and I thought this one was particularly funny.

The Substitute Voldie Oldie

Maybe Jon or TF could help with the translation.

My Career

Enjoy a clip of how I plan to practice psychology.

I cannot believe I just thought of this....

Gaby N' Fish IS Charlie! He would rather be asleep, can be convinced to do anything and when he does do it he invariably has to give up body parts. Who made this movie based on our lovable friend?

YOU MADE A MISTAKE IN YOUR STANDING WITH HEVNSANGEL19 WHO IS ACTUALLY UP TO DATE ON ALL DAYS!!! PLEASE CORRECT IMMEDIATELY

Blogger Challenge Standings:

Just a quick update, after 5 days here's the story (in alphabetical order):

Captain Salamander: 5 consecutive days with a post.
Coach Z: 5 consecutive days.
Doughboy: 5 consecutive days.
Gaby 'n Fish: 5 consecutive days.
Jon: 5 consecutive days.
Maxiebaby & Wife: 5 consecutive days.
TF: 5 consecutive days.

Defeated:
3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375: 1 day.
hevnsangel19: 1 day.

Should be Ashamed:
Gulbat: 0 days.
Ibn Ali: 0 days.
MikeyGee: 0 days.
Moderately Selassie: 0 days.
Mrs. Rotes: 0 days.
Rabbi Rotes: 0 days.
Shocked and Appalled: 0 days.
Yeish Lanu Harbe Baquanim: 0 days.

Fell Asleep on the Wrong Day?
He Who Must Not Be Named: Fell asleep on the wrong day?

Just a reminder that the weekends can get tricky, don't forget to post on the motz.

i hate blogs

Hey Doughboy...

that hasn't stopped me before.

Lost

I have nothing to post, but I don't want to lose the competition this early. What should I do?

Can Someone please explain this to me????

I totally do not get it...

Hungry?

I don't always bring lunch to work (to my mother: delete the word "don't" from this sentence) and I usually end up eating an enormous dinner (to my mother: I am not a pig), but I think that I'd have trouble finishing off anything bigger than the "Double Bypass Burger" offered by "The Heart Attack Grill" in Tempe, Arizona, which by the way has wheelchairs to carry customers out of the restaurant (apparently the "Quadruple Bypass Burger" is over 8,000 calories, and is 100% treif, sorry Huda).

The Substitute Voldie Oldie

HWMNBN is unavailable. I will be filling in for him.

This is insanely funny for those people who have sense of humours and maybe even for those who dont

check her out!!

This is what happens when 'Ebayers' can't read?

1984

From Reuters:

Compare the photograph and the caption.

Found at LGF

I seriously almost forgot to post tonight...

I only just remembered now!

Another HWMNBN Hiatus

I'm going to Baltimore tomorrow, fellas (and ladies), so you'll have to carry on without me for a few days.

Happy Birthday, Ibn Ali

On your birthday ♥ May your roto team have a refuah sheleimah, especially Felix Hernandez.

Aussie needed that like a hole in the head

MELBOURNE, Australia (April 24) - An Australian man who hurled a metal chair at another man, leaving one of its legs lodged 4 inches into his eye socket and neck, was sentenced Tuesday to 400 hours of community service.

Liam Peart, 20, hurled the metal chair during a nightclub brawl in Melbourne in January, hitting Shafique El-Fahkri, who was standing about 10 feet away.

A leg of the chair plunged into his eye socket and down into his neck.

Thinking he had killed the man, Peart panicked and ran, but surrendered himself to police the next day.

Peart pleaded guilty in the Melbourne Magistrates Court to one charge of negligently causing serious injury. In addition to 400 hours of unpaid community service, he will be monitored by corrections officers for two years.

Magistrate Peter Reardon told Peart he was lucky that El-Fahkri survived the attack.

"It's a blessing in a sense this young man was not killed or really seriously harmed," he said. "It might be a wake-up call for you that there are worse off people than yourself."

El-Fahkri spent a month in intensive care at a Melbourne hospital. The attack left him with a raspy voice, but 95 percent of his vision has been restored.


----


Which raises the question: What do you have to do to actually go to jail in Australia?

My older brother told me about this cool game...

The new game sensation that is sweeping the nation! It is not volleyball, not baseball, not football but SEPAK TAKRAW - volleyball with no hands!!! Anyone want to start a team with me?

Sharing my Misery

I decided to share the website that has been ruining my life for the past 6 months.
http://www.alluc.org/alluc/

Which one is better?

New Poll:

Which is better - school or work?

Feel free to leave detailed answers in the comments.

P.S. Don't bother replying TF - we already know your thoughts on the matter.

Recently, interesting things have been found in the earth...

For those of you that haven't heard...

Kryptonite (click it) the stuff that kills superman, was discovered to actually exist here on earth..

Activity #02 for Jon: Beach Metal Detector Dude

I think this is most kids dream. So why don't you fulfill a childhood dream as your second activity?

The Voldie Oldie

"I Can't Tell You Why" (The Eagles, 1979)

QUOTI OF THE DAY

"You're going to be a hard person for someone to stay married to. They'll probably have to kill you after a few months."

- KA, to DS, re. his incessant puns

From Baseball Shorts

"Every time I look at my pocketbook, I see Jackie Robinson."

- Willie Mays

Wolfpack v.s Tarheels

Activity #01 for Jon: Tabatchnick's soup in a bag

I can still remember how Maxiebaby used to eat these Tabatchnick's soup in a bag back in the good old days of OTI. It's hard to imagine that until last week I had never consumed one myself. It all happened so quickly. Simon, my roommate, mentioned to me that he accidentally purchased the "vegetarian chili" variety of Tabatchnick's soup in a bag and that if I didn't eat it he would throw it out, because quite frankly he hates Tabatchnick's vegetarian chili in a bag. It was perfect timing. My dinner options were quite limited and having not gone grocery shopping since before Passover I was eager to try anything that would alleviate my insatiable hunger. Fortunately at the time I wasn't aware that my hunger was insatiable, otherwise I never would've attempted to alleviate it in the first place, but that's a story for another time. Anyhow back to Tabatchnick's vegetarian chili in a bag. The preparation instructions for heating on the stove top were written on the box as follows:

1. Slip unopened pouch into water. Do not cover pan.
2. Bring water to a boil. Continue boiling for 15 minutes.
3. Slit pouch open and serve.
4. Always remove contents after cooking.
DO NOT STORE IN POUCH.

Step one was over and done with so fast that I didn't even see step two coming. All of a sudden I'm scrambling to find someone with a boil. The main problem wasn't that I didn't know anyone with a boil, as I'm sure someone I know out there has at least one boil, but the problem was how likely they were to admit to having a boil. So I figured the best way to get around it was to bring the vegetarian chili in a bag to a local homeless man and stand in his vicinity for a good 15 minutes, as per the instructions, until the vegetarian chili in a bag had enough of the whole boil scene. I'll cut the story short here, because I'm in dire need of sleep and there was a whole balagan involving a group of angry boil covered homeless dudes that would take days to transcribe and many more pages than available here to fill.

The end result is I've now tried many different varieties of Tabatchnick's soup in a bag and they've all been deliciously tasty. My only complaint is that when you're ready to consume the steaming hot contents of the bag, there is no easy way to remove the said contents from the bag without severely burning your hands. The only plus to this is that the next time you want to make Tabatchnick's soup in a bag you don't have to go far to find a boil.

This is where we arrive at my first activity in my attempt to prevent the atrophying of Jon's brain. Jon, please devise a simple and quick way to remove the soup from Tabatchnick's soup in a bag without (a) needing to find someone with a boil and without (b) giving yourself boils. Hope that keeps you busy for awhile.













Caption: Who needs colostomy bags when you can have Tabatchnick's soup in a bag.

i refuse to post since my first one

I've decided to save myself the stress...

and post early tonight.

Just a Friendly Reminder

If Tom Dickson invites you over for dinner, just say no.

Death by Camel

Check out the video on CNN about the woman who was killed because her camel sat on her. Don't think ill of the camel, it is mating season...One of the weirder things about the video are the wedding pictures of the deceased and her husband. He is wearing a bowtie and tux jacket but no shirt. Was that an oversight? Are people going to start coming to Shul like that?

Blender Ads

How come the hockey puck one says not to try it at home but the one with the cell phones does not? Why are cell phones a safer blending alternative?

New Competion!

Help me figure out what to do with my day before my brain atrophies!

Ephraim Stulberg on Ta'amei Hamiqra

There are relatively few passages in Talmudic literature that allude to the Ta'amei Ha-miqra, and I suspect that most of them will be familiar to anyone who has read through any of the modern works on that topic. This week I came across an interesting passage in Yerushalmi Hagigah (2:3) which contains a clear reference to the ta'amei ha-miqra and to the way in which they are used to divide a sentence.

First, a little background. The Mishnah tells us that Beis Shammai and Beis Hillel argued over whether it is permissible to sacrifice the special olah offerings required of festival pilgrims on Yom Tov, with Beis Shammai believing that the offerings could only be made on Hol Ha-mo'ed.

The Book of Chronicles, or Divrei Ha-yamim (I 29:21) records that when King David reaffirmed his son, Solomon, as his successor and gathered the people in a great show of munificence in donating to the proposed Temple, the people "sacrificed to God, and the sacrificed olah offerings to God on the next day."

The Talmud relates: that when Rabbi Shimon ben Laqish was passing by the synagogue and heard a voice reading the above verse, he commented: "He who interrupts the verse holds like Beis Shammai; he who reads it all holds like Beis Hillel".

In other words, was it only the olah offerings which they sacrificed on the next day, or was it also the zevahim, which is typically taken to mean shelamim offerings? Depends on whether you accept the comma in the section of the verse we cited. The Talmud assumes that this occurred on Yom Tov, and thus if it was only the olah offerings which were delayed until the next day, that would prove Beis Shammai's point.

Well, what does our tradition tell us? Modern scholars generally divide the pausal notes into different classes. The segol at the end of the fragment I quoted sets it off from the rest of the text prior to the asnachta. The revia` on the second "to God" is the most powerful division within the segol's fragment: this indicates that both types of sacrifices were brought on Yom Tov. While the telisha gedolah is also a non-conjunctive note, it is a minor one, and is really necessary to divide the six words in what Wickes terms the Torah's system of "continuous dichotomies". Thus the tradition, as we have it, follows Beis Hillel.

Pi

I agree that 3.14... should lose some of his trailing digits. Wouldn't ³⁵⁵⁄₁₁₃ be quite sufficient? This fraction also has the advantage of being named after Tintin's dog.

More blending

Gaby totally stole my post for today, but in the spirit of the NHL playoffs, I am still going to go ahead and post my video of hockey puck blending.

Petition

Petition to force 3.141, etc. to change his name to something more manageable (e.g. 3.14, or 3.14152 if he insists). The extremely long username messes up the blog in Firefox.

Vote below in the comments.

POSTING HELP!

How does one post a youtube video on the blog?

Just Checking In

I can't believe I am filing taxes. How boringly adult.

Will it Blend?

I came across the "Will it Blend" website a couple of months ago and thought it was amusing. Here is a typical demonstration video of theirs.

The Voldie Oldie

"Knowing Me, Knowing You" (ABBA, 1976)

QUOTI OF THE DAY

"Guys, if one of you says a word, don't feel that each of you needs to respond."

- ML

From Baseball Shorts

"Blind people came to the park just to listen to him pitch."

- Reggie Jackson, on Tom Seaver

Fascinating Post

In molecular symmetry terms, the six lone pair orbitals from the ligands (one from each ligand) form six Symmetry Adapted Linear Combinations (SALCs) of orbitals, also sometimes called Ligand Group Orbitals (LGOs). The irreducible representations that these span are a1g, t1u and eg. The metal also has six valence orbitals that span these irreducible representations - the s orbital is labeled a1g, a set of three p-orbitals is labeled t1u, and the dz2 and dx2−y2 orbitals are labeled eg. The six σ-bonding molecular orbitals result from the combinations of ligand SALC's with metal orbitals of the same symmetry.


This counts, right?

Whoa...

another close call!

Breakfast Conundrum

As I was eating my breakfast this morning i got wondering what would be if Cap'n Cruch*(tm) got in a fight with the Honey Bee*(tm), who would win? And do you think Toucan Sam*(tm) has any chance? What about the "Silly Rabbit" from Trix*(tm)?
Then I saw this: http://youtube.com/watch?v=PVoVuDyP6ik&mode=related&search=

Can Someone Please Shoot Sheryl Crow

I'll let you enjoy the article below and I'll save my comments for the end of the post. From cbc.ca:

--------------------------------------------------

Sheryl Crow takes a swipe at toilet paper use
Last Updated: Monday, April 23, 2007 4:26 PM ET

In an effort to help save the environment, U.S. singer Sheryl Crow is calling on everyone to limit the amount of toilet paper used "in any one sitting" to one square.

Crow made the suggestion in her blog chronicling her recent tour of the United States on a biodiesel-powered bus to raise awareness about climate change.

She and environmental activist Laurie David toured 11 university campuses to persuade students to act to help safeguard the world's environment.

"I have spent the better part of this tour trying to come up with easy ways for us all to become a part of the solution to global warming. Although my ideas are in the earliest stages of development, they are, in my mind, worth investigating," she writes.

"One of my favorites is in the area of conserving trees, which we heavily rely on for oxygen.

"I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting.… We can make it work with only one square per restroom visit."

Crow acknowledges there could be occasions when the one-square limit might not suffice, such as "on those pesky occasions where two to three could be required."

She writes that when she presented the idea to her younger brother, he went a step further, suggesting that people could "just wash the one square out."

Crow's other green ideas include a clothing line she has designed with a detachable "dining sleeve" that can be used as a napkin, thereby saving on the use of paper napkins.

She also suggests a reality show in which participants compete to live the greenest life.

--------------------------------------------------

One square?!?!? My goodness! As for her statement that "we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit" I have no idea who the "we" that she's talking about is, but making it work doesn't exactly sound like such a great idea to me.

Why don't we just appoint her to enforce her law, that sounds fair to me. As for her brother, he can be put in charge of washing all of those squares. Perhaps then he'll be forced to eat Crow.

Since we're on the topic of moronic news items

Here's another killer (pardon the pun):

--------------------------------------------------

Prisoner wrongly freed after officials get phony, typo-filled fax
Published: Saturday, April 21, 2007 9:36 PM ET, Canadian Press

HICKMAN, Kentucky (AP) - Officials mistakenly released a prisoner from a Kentucky facility after receiving a phony fax that ordered him freed, and it took them nearly two weeks to realize it.

The fax contained grammatical errors, was not typed on letterhead and was sent from a local grocery store. The fax falsely claimed that the Kentucky Supreme Court "demanded" Timothy Rouse be released.

Rouse, 19, is charged with beating an elderly man and was at the Kentucky Correctional & Psychiatric Center in La Grange for a mental evaluation. He was released April 6 after officials received the fake court order.

Lexington police arrested Rouse at his mother's home Thursday evening.

"It's outrageous that it happened," Fulton County Attorney Rick Major said. "I'm just glad nobody got hurt because he's dangerous."

Police are still investigating who faxed the letter.

Attorney Carlos Moran, who is representing Rouse, declined to comment.

Prison officials did not notice that the fax came from the grocery store because policies did not require checking the source of a faxed order, said the LaGrange facility's director, Greg Taylor.

"It's not part of a routine check, but certainly, in hindsight, that would perhaps have caused somebody to ask a question," he said. Misspellings on orders are common, he said.

--------------------------------------------------

Someone should've sent this article to the creator's of the FOX tv show "Prison Break" would've saved them the trouble of writing two seasons worth of episodes.

Hmm...

I just bought a recliner at Cosmos Furniture, the store in the news item below.

I was a little suspicious when the price tag read:

PRICE: Kyke-cheap

I guess that clears things up.

What a Moronic Series of Events

I first heard about this story on my way to work this morning thanks to the free daily 'Metro' which I was lucky (unlucky?) enough to pick up on the subway. Original story from the Toronto Star (aprox 2 weeks ago):

--------------------------------------------------

Racial slur on sofa label stuns family
By Jim Wilkes/Toronto Star (Apr 06, 2007 04:30 AM Jim Wilkes Staff Reporter)


When the new chocolate-coloured sofa set was delivered to her Brampton home, Doris Moore was stunned to see packing labels describing the shade as "Nigger-brown."

She and husband Douglas purchased a sofa, loveseat and chair in dark brown leather last week from Vanaik Furniture and Mattress store on Dundas St. E.

Moore, 30, who describes herself as an African-American born and raised in New York, said it was her 7-year-old daughter who pointed out the label just after delivery men from the Mississauga furniture store left.

"She's very curious and she started reading the labels," Moore explained. "She said, `Mommy, what is nig ... ger brown?' I went over and just couldn't believe my eyes."

She said yesterday each piece had a similar label affixed to the woven protective covering wrapped around the furniture.

"In this day and age, that's totally unacceptable," Moore said.

Douglas explained the origins of the word to daughter Olivia, telling how it was a bad name that blacks were called during the days of slavery in the United States.

"It was tough, because she really didn't understand," Moore said. "She'd never heard that word before and didn't really understand the concept of it."

Moore, who has a younger son and daughter, said she's heard the word used many times, although it has never been directed in anger at her.

"But it's a very, very bad word that makes you feel degraded, like you're a nobody," she said.
Moore said she called the furniture store the following day and three other times since, and feels discouraged that no one has returned her calls.

When interviewed yesterday by the Star, Romesh Kumar, Vanaik's assistant manager, passed the buck to his supplier, Cosmos Furniture in Scarborough.

"Why should I take the blame?" he said. "I'm a trader, I don't manufacture. I sell from 20 companies, maybe 50 companies. How can I take care of all of them?"

He said that he would check similar stock and make sure other labels were removed.

"That's terrible, that's a racial ... something?" Kumar said. "This is entirely wrong, but it's not my fault. It's my job to sell good product to people."

He said the best he could do is to give Moore the telephone number of his supplier, so she could take it up with him.

The owner of Cosmos Furniture, Paul Kumar, no relation to Romesh, said he was upset to learn packing labels on products he sold carried a racial epithet.

"I import my products from overseas," he said. "I've never noticed anything like that. This is something new to me."

He passed the blame to a Chinese company, but apologized for the labels. He said he would contact the furniture maker in Guangzhou and demand they remove all similar labels.

Moore said she's not sure she wants the sofa set in her home.

"Every time I sit on it, I'll think of that," she said.

--------------------------------------------------

Well, the 'Metro' article had an explanation of the mistake in today's paper, so I figured I'd post that article as well:

--------------------------------------------------
Racial slur blamed on software

From the Metro (Apr 23, 2007)

A software problem is to blame for a packing slip on a couch that read "nigger-brown," according to a manger at the Chinese computer company that provided the translation.

"We got the definition from a Chinese-English dictionary. We've been using the dictionary for 10 years. Maybe the dictionary was updated, but we probably didn't follow suit," said Huang Luoyi, a product manager for the Beijing-based Kingsoft Corp., which manufactures the translation software that produced the offensive description.

"I know this is a very bad word."

He explained that when the Chinese characters for "dark brown" are typed into an older version of the company's Chinese-English translation software, the word "nigger" comes up.

The description ended up on the packing label on a couch delivered to Toronto resident Doris Moore, whose 7-year-old daughter asked her what "nigger" meant. Moore, 30, is consulting with a lawyer and wants compensation. Last week, she filed a report with the Ontario Human Rights Commission.

"Something more has to be done. We don't just need a personal apology, but someone needs to own up to where these labels were made, and someone needs to apologize to all people of colour," Moore said last week. "I had friends over from St. Lucia yesterday and they wouldn't sit on the couch."

Romesh Vanaik, owner of Vanaik Furniture where Moore bought the sofa, said it has been a best-seller. He said he checked his stock but found no other couch with the offensive label.
"It's amazing. I've been here since 1972 and I never knew the meaning of this word," said Vanaik, a native of India.

Huang said Kingsoft has worked to correct the translation error. In the 2007 version, typing dark brown" in Chinese no longer results in a racial slur in English.

--------------------------------------------------

I have so many comments, I don't know where to begin (I can barely contain myself). Instead of commenting on these moronic events, I think I'll just post a picture from the Toronto Star website and get back to work.

Clarification

Are all the people who did not post yesterday out already? Perhaps we should impose more severe punishments such as flogging or the pillory or something?

Addendum to Doughboy's Last Post

Just thought I'd google around to see if Monty Python was a popular choice of (artwork?) amongst tattooists (sp?). Anyhow, I couldn't really find anything and I was about to give up when I got a hit on the online version of the 'Hannibal Courier Post' (a daily newspaper in Hannibal, Missouri, USA). Unfortunately I had to register in order to view their website (it's a slow work day here. Actually it's not. It's pretty busy, but I need my breaks), so now Jack Bauer is officially a member of their online community (good for him I say!). Anyhow, they have this picture of this fellow Jason Lamb at the gathering of the National Tattoo Association in St. Louis (the 'Academy Awards' of tattooing) but I can't really make out if his whole leg is Monty Python themed, or if it's only part of it, or what's exactly going on on that fellow's epidermis.


Decide for yourself:
























Caption: Jason Lamb of Louisville, Ky. shows off his Monty Python tattoo during the National Tattoo Convention in St. Louis. (AP photo)

The ministry

Yesterday was the first warm day of spring here in Chicago, so I went out to buy ice cream at Coldstone which makes the best ice cream in the world. The woman who served me had this bizarre tattoo on her forearm of a man in shadow. I looked a little closer and noticed that this man was quite tall, wearing a bowler hat and had one leg kicked up higher than his own head. Thinking to myself, this can't be what I think it is, I asked her what the tattoo represnted. It turns out that it was a tattoo of John Cleese from Monty Python doing a silly walk on her arm. I mean, it was an excellent skit, very, very funny, but good enough to permanently carve into your body? People are crazy.

Here's the skit for those of you living under a rock in a cave on mars for the past thirty years:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IqhlQfXUk7w

If you are going to get arrested at least do something that is not lame

Man some people should start blogging. Maybe then they would not have so much free time.

http://littlegreenfootballs.com/weblog/?entry=25218_Mass_Rabbi_Arrest_at_United_Nations&only

16 Cars Driving

It's more exciting than the title would suggest. Weird too.

Phew...

just beat the deadline.

Good Job!

Since we received a threatening email from Gaby, we felt the need to post something. So here you go:

Mad props to everyone! Let's keep up the good work and hope that we all find fun and interesting things for & Wife (and Gaby also apparently) to be distracted with at work.

I MUST POST

I wasn't going to but now that everyone else is...Tomorrow is the CN tower jump by the way. I hear everyone is doing it...

Don't be ridiculous, that's not Budah?! IT"S HUDA!!!!!

Tomorrow is Yom HaZikaron

I was going to post this as a comment to hevnsangel19's post, but I'm not sure if comments count for the contest, so I'll do this as a separate post even though it is really intended as a comment for the "today is yom hazikaron" post.

Tomorrow is Yom HaZikaron, not today. The Knesset amended the law in 5764/2004, so that whenever 4 Iyyar is on Sunday, Yom HaZikaron is postponed to Monday (5 Iyyar) and Yom HaAtzmaut is on Tuesday (6 Iyyar). See this link for the laws:

http://www.knesset.gov.il/laws/special/eng/laws.htm

I also have a letter from the Chief Rabbi of Israel confirming for this year that Yom HaZikaron is on Monday and Yom HaAtzmaut is on Tuesday.

Mizrachi is having their annual commemoration/celebration at BAYT on Monday evening, beginning at 7:15. See you there.

Best Version of "My Humps"

This is my personal favorite. I think it beats anything out there.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3UQCS5pLsCE&mode=related&search=

Challenge Accepted

Here is a very hilarious video by Alanis Morrisette (Morissete, Morrissette... I dont care) singing a parody of "My humps" by the black Eyed Peas and mocking the current state of music. Absolutely hilarious. Already one of the most ridiculous songs ever made, she takes it one step further. Warning: This may be slightly inappropriate for our younger readers.
Here is the original if youve never heard the song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vj9swNR5-lY

Here is Alanis' version: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W91sqAs-_-g&mode=related&search=

The Little Giant Encyclopedia of Proverbs!

An exert from the Little Giant Encyclopedia of Proverbs:

"Yanagi no shita ni itsu-mo dojo wa inai"
(One cannot always find a fish under a willow)

-Japanese

today is yom hazikaron

Exams are Annoying

Exams are annoying.

I have it in mind that this one new post of the day should be valid, the equivalent and count for future posts for each and every single day until I have officially won the ultimate blogger challenge and the $5000 grand prize promised by gaby n’fish at that time. As a kinyan for this, will take my hat and wave it in the air and throw it onto my desk which will symbolically represent the physical form of Gaby’s Gobbledygook for the next few moments.

Japanese Beat Dancing Toy

Not yet available, but could you imagine a whole row of these things?

Article here.

The Ultimate Blogger Challenge

Ok, come on guys. A couple of people have mentioned to me that they wish that the bloggers would be more active, and the truth is if it weren't for HWMNBN we probably wouldn't have a blog anymore, so I figure we should all try and make it a place where we could actually waste time on a daily basis, as opposed to say a weekly or monthly basis (because currently there aren't that many posts per day and I work a minimum of 8 hours a day, which doesn't translate too well).

So here's the challenge: I'm challenging each and every blogger to make at least one post everyday (holy that's a lot) and basically the last blogger to not miss a day is crowned champion blogger and get's renaming rights (currently for some strange reason my name is in the blog title, but now it could be yours, wow, what a sell). It doesn't matter if your post is just a stupid link, rant, or even just the letter "b". I figure if we all get used to posting on a regular basis, the blog will become whatever, I'm tired of typing. Just a heads up, I refuse to lose this competition.

Ephraim Stulberg on the Book of Vayikra, 5767

Nothing very specific to report vis a vis the parasha this week, only an interesting midrash to quote. "Rabbi Asi said, 'Why is it that children begin studying from Toras Kohanim and not from Bereishis? Because children are pure and sacrifices are pure..." The passage is from Vayikra Rabbah (7:3), with a variant in Midrash Tanchuma (Tzav#14) and is quoted in Mahzor Vitry at the end of Hilchos Milah in a context which seems to imply that it was actually put into practice in early medieval northern France. While the rationale for this practice appears to have been religious rather than purely pedagogical, I wonder if there is any value in implementing it as an educational strategy.

Ephraim Stulberg on Chol Hamo'ed, Pesach 5767

Delayed; my fault.--HWMNBN

Just a couple of quick hits relating to Hol Hamoed.During Hol Hamoed Pesach, it is customary to refrain from reciting Psalm 100 (Mizmor Le-sodah). Since Todah offerings were accompanied by loaves of hametz, they were not brought in the Temple during Pesach; therefore we do not recite the psalm on Pesach either.

A similar rationale is given for why this Psalm is not recited on Shabbos or Yom Tov. However, as R? David Abudarham points out, in many communities, such as in Provence and Spain, this psalm was in fact recited on those days. He argues that the mere recitation of this psalm will not lead people to sacrifice Todah offerings during forbidden periods once the Temple is rebuilt, and sees no reason not to recite it on Shabbos and Yom Tov.

Abudarham seems to view the psalm not as a surrogate for the actual Todah, but rather as a nice poem that would have accompanied the sacrifice in the Temple. If one were to view the recitation as a replacement for the actual sacrifice, then of course a different conclusion might result.

* * * * *

For Daf Yomi learners, the laws of Hol Hamo?ed are depicted in the Babylonian Talmud as being rather cryptic. ?The laws of Hol Ha-moed are like the laws of gentiles? in that they are barren, and one cannot be derived from another? (Moed Qatan 12a). Similarly, the Yerushalmi cites an opinion that the laws of Hol Hamoed are more difficult tounderstand than those of Nega?im and Oholos (Moed Qatan 2:5).

One general rule which goes a long way towards explaining many of the laws is to look at each action and its impact on one?s ability to enjoy the festival. This is the thesis of R? Abba bar Memel in the Yerushalmi (2:3), where he decries the unsatisfactory manner in which people used their free time on Hol Hamoed: "Did they prohibit the performance of work on Hol Hamoed for any other reason than that they should eat, drink and engage in Torah study?" Thus, the Yerushalmi allows one to sell goods in certain scenarios, namely if the proceeds will allow one to ?rejoice on the festival and drink flavoured wine? (Moed Qatan 2:3). While moving one?s residence is generally not allowed on the festival, if the individual moving will own the dwelling, then all the trouble can be justified, since ?it is a joy to live in a dwelling of one?s own? (Moed Qatan 2:4). And finally, Rabbi Ami cursed the fishermen of Tiberius for not working on Hol Ha-moed; ostensibly a humrah, their inaction resulted in a lack of simhat ha-regel (Moed Qatan 2:5). Anyway, Raavyah (#835) makes use of this idea to explain most of the categories of work permitted on Hol Ha-moed, and it is certainly a useful way of thinking about things. It is definitely noteworthy that all of these statements come from the Yerushalmi, while it is rather difficult to find an analogue in the Bavli. One wonders if the two Talmuds had a different conception of the nature of Hol Hamoed.

The Voldie Oldie

"The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald" (Gordon Lightfoot, 1976)

From Baseball Shorts

"When you call a pitcher 'Lefty' and everybody in both leagues knows who you mean, he must be pretty good."

- Clint Hurdle, on Steve "Lefty" Carlton

QUOTI OF THE DAY

"Bazzazzoo"

- NG

The Voldie Oldie

"High and Dry" (Gordon Lightfoot, 1974)

QUOTI OF THE DAY

"I don't like the word 'normal'."

- BB

From Baseball Shorts

"I can see how he won 25 games. What I don't understand is how he lost 5."

- Yogi Berra, on Sandy Koufax

The Voldie Oldie

"The Dangling Conversation" (Simon and Garfunkel, 1966)

QUOTI OF THE DAY

"Let's keep going on this eclectic cavalcade of whimsy."
Drink snorted

- MR (M.C. at Yuk Yuk's), MF the Elder

From Baseball Shorts

"You can't call it a sport. You don't run, jump, you don't shoot, you don't pass. All you have to do is buy some clothes that don't match."

- Steve Sax, on golf

The Voldie Oldie

"Race Among the Ruins" (Gordon Lightfoot, 1976)

From Baseball Shorts

"I've seen the future, and it's much like the present, only longer."

- Dan Quisenberry

QUOTI OF THE DAY

"Shut up, please, till I'm finished. Sorry, sorry... substandard English... please wait till I'm finished."

- JJ