Gaby's Gobbledygook

2011-03-14T17:11:00.001-04:00

One day, Kermit Jagger goes into a bank because he needs a loan. He asks the teller and is directed to Ms. Patty Wick. He tells Ms. Wick that he needs a loan. She tells him (rather haughtily) that he needs some sort of collateral because they don't go loaning frogs money every day.

So, Kermit reaches into his bag and hands Ms. Wick a small glass elephant. "What is this?" she asks. "We can't give you a loan using *this* as collateral!" Kermit tells Ms. Wick to go talk to the bank manger.

So, Ms. Wick goes to the manager and asks him why she should take the glass elephant as collateral. The manager replies......

"It's a knicknack, Patty Wick. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

Tommy's Getting a Beer Belly!

2010-10-12T20:48:00.002-04:00

The NEW logo for the City of Vaughan in Toronto

2010-06-30T02:19:00.002-04:00

Is it just me, or do you see it too??

This explains so much..

2010-06-13T00:08:00.000-04:00

Alleged Mossad agent arrested in Poland for ties to Hamas slaying

June 12, 2010

Juergen Baetz

BERLIN—Polish authorities have arrested an alleged Mossad spy from Israel wanted in connection with the slaying of a Hamas agent in Dubai, the German federal prosecutor’s office said Saturday.

A man using the name of Uri Brodsky is suspected of working for a foreign spy agency in Germany and helping issue a fake German passport to a member of the Mossad hit squad allegedly behind the killing of Mahmoud al-Mabhouh in January, the German spokesman told The Associated Press.

Name the Anatomy

2010-06-10T20:27:00.007-04:00

I'm sorry that I haven't signed on here in the past year, but you haven't posted in at least the past 6 months so don't be a hypocrite. As the first person to ever post on GG, I'm here today to revitalize the blog and initiate a new game. I'm not sure if I need written permission from His Royalty Gaby, and his butt cheeks' seal of approval but here it is anyway...

Basically, the way it works is that I start off by posting a picture of part of the HUMAN anatomy and you guys have to guess what that part is. The first person to guess the correct part, wins and gets to choose the next part. The only rule of the game is the MaxieBaby Rule. Maxiebaby is not allowed to guess the correct answer, but what he CAN do is make fun of everyone else for being dumb and guessing the wrong body part. While you cannot be stopped by searching online for the answer, the game is probably more fun if you don't.

Name this body part:

I'm proud to be an American

2010-01-18T19:12:00.001-05:00

I know that this blog is usually reserved for important discussions concerning:

1) How much the Leafs suck

2) Gaby's pedophilia "issue"

3) #3 was eaten by Hudi

2009-11-19T11:53:00.001-05:00

"Something" (The Beatles, 1969)

Classical Music

2009-11-13T08:27:00.000-05:00

Updating the Board

2009-10-15T13:24:00.002-04:00

This is an update to the board (see here and here).

Doughboy is our current leader with $12,500 in total winnings.

DoughBoy: $12,500 (no bet outstanding, has won 2 bets and lost none).
Baquanim: $5,000 (1 bet outstanding for $100 @ 10,000 - 1).
Gaby 'Fish: -$10,000.
Captain Salamander: -$5,000 (1 bet outstanding for $100 @ 10,000 - 1, has won 1 bet and lost 1 bet) .
Jon: -$5,000 (1 bet outstanding for $10,000 @ 10,000 - 1, has won 1 bet and lost 1 bet) .
Rita's Hubby: -$5,000 (1 bet outstanding for $10,000 @ 10,000 - 1, has won 1 bet and lost 1 bet) .
Maxiebaby & Wife: (1 bet outstanding for $100 @ 10,000 - 1).

Total Winnings: -$7,500.00
Total Purse: $273,750,000.00 + $7,500.00 = $273,757,500.00

Which character reminds you of Gaby?

2009-10-04T21:18:00.001-04:00

Strange...

2009-09-30T23:33:00.003-04:00

I kept on waiting for something to happen. Oh well.

Learn to Ride a Bike

2009-09-30T23:33:00.001-04:00

Battle of the Blades - Fantasy Draft

2009-09-17T16:50:00.002-04:00

Yup. It's that time of the year again. Hockey season is about to start, but who really cares about hockey when the Battle of the Blades is happening on CBC starting in October. They've paired up former hockey players with figure skaters and they're going to compete against each other for something, not sure what, but who really cares, when we can compete against each other to see who will Battle of the Blades!

Here are the pairings:

Glenn Anderson & Isabelle Brasseur
Ken Daneyko & Jodeyne Higgins
Tie Domi & Christine Hough-Sweeney
Ron Duguay & Barbara Underhill
Claude Lemieux & Shae-Lynn Bourne
Bob Probert & Kristina Lenko
Stephane Richer & Marie-France Dubreuil
Craig Simpson & Jamie Sale

We need to come up with a format for the draft though. Any suggestions?

Where Were You...

2009-09-17T15:02:00.002-04:00

Criminal With a Brain

2009-09-16T22:56:00.000-04:00

Taken from here.

Clay County Restaurants Fall Victim to Scammers.

By Lise Fisher, Staff writer

By pretending to be the boss, someone has been stealing hundreds of dollars from area Clay County restaurants and getting employees to help, according to Clay County authorities.

A person, posing over the phone as a manager or supervisor, convinced employees at several restaurants in the county to send cash, the Clay County Sheriff's Office reported. Only later did employees realize they had been duped.

Duval County has had similar cases, and officers with both counties have been sharing information in an attempt to catch the thief, Clay County authorities reported.

In some cases, employees had been alerted about the scam and refused to turn over any money, according to deputies.

The Sheriff's Office provided reports this week on five businesses where the caller either got money or tried to convince an employee to hand over cash.

The businesses have all been restaurants like McDonald's, Wendy's, Burger King and Subway. In some cases, the male caller claimed to be the owner or a district manager. He instructed the employee to take out some money from the business and have it delivered to him.

All the cases were reported this month, starting on April 3. The most recent incident in Clay County took place on Monday.

Employees who did deliver cash brought it to locations the caller directed them to in Jacksonville, often on Dunn Avenue. One employee put the cash, as instructed, into a specific mailbox.

Criminally Stupid (Part 4)

2009-09-16T22:55:00.000-04:00

Taken from here.

A bank robbery suspect was arrested after he led police on a chase and mistakenly pulled into the Southfield police station parking lot.

Police say the 24-year-old Detroit man robbed a bank at 11 Mile and Southfield in Lathrup Village early Friday afternoon. When officers tried to pull him over, the suspect led them on a chase near I-696 and the Southfield freeway.

The chase came to a quick end when the suspect made a wrong turn into the parking lot of the Southfield Civic Center where the Southfield police department is located.

Police say the man even used a Sharpie marker to draw a mustache and beard on his face to help disguise himself from investigators.

Criminally Stupid (Part 3)

2009-09-16T22:54:00.000-04:00

Taken from here.

GREAT FALLS - An employee at the Wal-Mart in Great Falls faces felony theft charges for allegedly taking electronics from the store and posting the items for sale on an employee bulletin board.

Remo Spencer was arrested Saturday at Wal-Mart.

Spencer had posted an ad on an employee bulletin board indicating that he had several iPods and computers for sale.

A manager became suspicious and reviewed surveillance footage, discovering the thefts, police said.

Police said Remo returned eight laptop computers and seven iPods valued at nearly $7,000.

Criminally Stupid (Part 2)

2009-09-16T22:53:00.000-04:00

Taken from here.

FERNDALE, Mich. (AP) - Police in Michigan say a first date went from bad to worse when a Detroit man skipped out on the restaurant bill, then stole his date's car.

Police say 23-year-old Terrance Dejuan McCoy had dinner with a woman April 24 at Buffalo Wild Wings in the Detroit suburb of Ferndale. The woman says the two met a week earlier at a Detroit casino and she knew McCoy only as "Chris."

The woman told police that McCoy said he left his wallet in her car and asked for keys. He then sped away in the 2000 Chevrolet Impala.

The Daily Tribune of Royal Oak reports that police identified McCoy by a photo he'd sent to the woman's cell phone, and his phone number.

McCoy is charged with unlawfully taking the car, a five-year felony. He waived a preliminary exam and was bound over for trial Thursday.

Criminally Stupid (Part 1)

2009-09-16T22:51:00.001-04:00

Taken from here.

COLUMBUS, Ohio — Police said they arrested a suspected robber on Sunday after he returned to his victim's home to ask her out on a date.

According to investigators, Stephfon Bennett was one of three men who robbed a couple on the city's north side late Sunday night, 10TV News reported.

Less than two hours after the robbery, police said that Bennett, 20, returned to the home and asked Diana Martinez out on a date.

"We are not exactly sure what he was thinking at the time," said Columbus police Sgt. Sean Laird. "She recognized him right away when he returned and was able to have her cousin call 911."

Martinez told 10TV News that Bennett asked her if she had a boyfriend and wanted to go out on a date.

"It's never happened, in my eight years and some months I've never had anything like this before," Laird said.

Officers arrived and arrested Bennett in front of the house, police said.

He faces aggravated robbery charges.

The other two men suspected of breaking into the home remained at-large.

2009-09-16T00:24:00.001-04:00

Brilliant Lady

2009-09-16T00:01:00.000-04:00

Blind Man Can See After Tooth Implanted Into His Eye

2009-09-10T11:00:00.005-04:00

No word on what body part they're going to use to replace the tooth...

Read the article here or below:

When Martin Jones met his wife four years ago, he never imagined that one day he would get to see what she looked like.

The 42-year-old builder was left blind after an accident at work more than a decade ago.

But a remarkable operation - which implants part of his tooth in his eye - has now pierced his world of darkness.

The procedure, performed fewer than 50 times before in Britain, uses the segment of tooth as a holder for a new lens grafted from his skin.

'The doctors took the bandages off and it was like looking through water and then I saw this figure and it was her,' he said today.

'She's wonderful and lovely. It was unbelievable to see her for the first time.'

He added: 'When I found out there was a chance I would get my sight back, the first person I wanted to see was her.'

Mr. Jones, from Rotherham, South Yorkshire, married his wife Gill, 50, four years ago.

By that time he had already spent eight years without his sight after a tub of white hot aluminum exploded in his face at work in a scrapyard.

He suffered 37 per cent burns and had to wear a special body stocking for 23 hours a day. He also had his left eye removed.

But surgeons were able to save the right eye, even though he was unable to see through it.

At first specialists in Nottingham tried to save his sight using stem cells from a donor but the attempt failed.

It was only when a revolutionary new operation was pioneered at the Sussex Eye Clinic in Brighton that he was given a chance to have his sight back.

Surgeon Christopher Liu used a living tooth to carry a new lens because Mr Jones' eye could reject a plastic implant

During the procedure, a minute section of a patient's tooth is removed, reshaped and chiseled through to grip the man-made lens which is then placed in its core.

It is implanted under an eyelid where it becomes covered in tissue.

The process requires a living tooth as an implant because doctors suggest there are chances the eye would reject a plastic equivalent.

So a canine - which is the best option due to its shape and size - was taken out of Mr Jones' mouth.

A patch of skin is then taken from the inside of the cheek and placed in the eye for two months, where it gradually acquires its own blood supply.

The tooth segment is finally transplanted into the eye socket. The flap of grafted skin is then partially lifted from the eye and placed over its new sturdy base.

Finally, surgeons cut a hole in the grafted cornea to let light through.

'I feel fantastic getting my sight back,' he said. 'I can't really describe it - it's beyond words. I was blind for 12 years and when my sight came back everything had changed.

'The first car I saw when my sight was restored was a Smart car and I couldn't stop laughing - I'd never seen one before and I thought it had been chopped in half.

'Getting my sight back has changed my life. It is such a precious gift and you don't really appreciate it until it is taken away.

'I have been so fortunate that my sight has been returned . I find it such a simple pleasure being able to see what is going on in the world.'

The eight-hour operation, pioneered by surgeon Christopher Liu, is designed to help patients who have corneal blindness but who are not suitable for traditional corneal transplants.

'When I first heard about the technique I couldn't believe it. I don't think many people can,' said Mr. Jones.

'My friends just don't believe me . They think I'm pulling their leg or have just made it up.

'But when I take my glasses off they say 'oh my God' because my eye looks like something out of a sci-fi movie. They're just amazed at it.'

Mr Liu is a corneal specialist and Consultant Ophthalmic Surgeon based at Sussex Eye Hospital, Brighton. He is also President of the British Society for Refractive Surgery.

Shoppers Claims To Be Out

2009-09-08T09:30:00.002-04:00

Can it Really Be?

2009-09-03T13:37:00.001-04:00

Apparently Colonel Sanders is really a stick figure with a big head.

Great Idea

2009-09-03T13:35:00.001-04:00

We should all try this and post videos on the blog!

Re: Your Brains

2009-09-01T00:23:00.000-04:00

Translated into ZSL:

Politics are fun

2009-08-20T19:03:00.000-04:00

Someone posted this on Facebook and I had to share:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nYlZiWK2Iy8&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fhome.php&feature=player_embedded#t=76

Mazel Tov Gaby!

2009-08-16T17:21:00.002-04:00

And Mrs. Gaby, and kid. We hope that everyone is ok....

Hopefully you won't get an opportunity to try this one

2009-08-12T09:05:00.001-04:00

"Dear ...,

Thank you for your letter rejecting my application for employment with your firm.
I have received rejections from an unusually large number of well qualified organizations.

With such a varied and promising spectrum of rejections from which to select, it is impossible for me to consider them all.

After careful deliberation, then, and because a number of firms have found me more unsuitable, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your rejection. Despite your company’s outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet with my requirements at this time.

As a result, I will be starting employment with your firm on the first of the month.
Circumstances change and one can never know when new demands for rejection arise. Accordingly, I will keep your letter on file in case my requirements for rejection change.

Please do not regard this letter as a criticism of your qualifications in attempting to refuse me employment. I wish you the best of luck in rejecting future candidates.

Sincerely,"

So True

2009-08-11T00:05:00.000-04:00

Pretty Simple

2009-08-10T16:35:00.000-04:00

The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog

2009-08-10T15:47:00.001-04:00

It's All About Perspective

2009-08-10T14:56:00.000-04:00

Looks Like Fun

2009-08-10T14:49:00.002-04:00

NFLer Arrested

2009-08-10T11:07:00.002-04:00

Seems as if it only took 2 days for an NFLer to get arrested. You guys had from August 3rd to the 24th, three weeks, which in retrospect seems like much too much time.

Philadelphia Eagles defensive end Juqua Parker was arrested on a marijuana possession charge early Wednesday, August 5th (article here).

DoughBoy wins $2,500
Captain Salamander wins $5,000
Jon wins $5,000
Rita's Hubby wins $5,000

Patrick Kane Arrested (and no he doesn't qualify as an NFLer)

2009-08-10T10:07:00.003-04:00

I can't believe Patrick Kane was able to beat up Jeremy Roenick. Also, you can't overlook that reporter who had the twenty cents all along.

Updating the Board

2009-08-10T09:56:00.002-04:00

Doughboy is our current leader with $10,000 in total winnings.

DoughBoy: $10,000 (1 bet outstanding for $5,000 @ 1 - 2).
Baquanim: $5,000 (1 bet outstanding for $100 @ 10,000 - 1).
Gaby 'Fish: -$10,000.
Captain Salamander: -$10,000 (1 bet outstanding for $10,000 @ 1 - 2, 1 bet outstanding for $100 @ 10,000 - 1) .
Jon: -$10,000 (1 bet outstanding for $10,000 @ 1 - 2, $1 bet outstanding for $1 @ 10,000 - 1).
Rita's Hubby: -$10,000 (1 bet outstanding for $10,000 @ 1 - 2, $1 bet outstanding for $1 @ 10,000 - 1).
Maxiebaby & Wife: (1 bet outstanding for $100 @ 10,000 - 1).

Total Winnings: -$25,000.00
Total Purse: $273,750,000.00 + $25,000.00 = $273,775,000.00

Summer Reading Part 5

2009-08-10T09:46:00.004-04:00

I know you're probably overwhelmed with reading material by now, so let's move on to some basic arts & crafts, like making drums with swastikas on them.

Typhoon hits Toronto. No survivors.

2009-08-09T20:34:00.000-04:00

Summer Reading Part 4

2009-08-05T08:01:00.001-04:00

Hopefully this covers the subject fully...

Summer Reading Part 3

2009-08-04T09:33:00.002-04:00

I know most of you will move this intriguing title to the top of your list and quite frankly I don't blame you. After all it's not often the words passion and donkeys are used together.

Summer Reading Part 2

2009-08-03T08:19:00.005-04:00

Here's a hidden gem from 1997 entitled: Do-It-Yourself Coffins: For Pets and PeopleGotta love the tagline on the cover at the bottom: "A Schiffer Book for Woodworkers Who Want to be Buried in Their Work.

Summer Reading Part 1

2009-08-02T18:16:00.005-04:00

It's time to get started on those summer book lists that you've been anxious to get to. We'll start it off with this classic from 1968 that everyone should own:

This page-turner includes wonderful helpful tips for teachers including a real doozy in the chapter titled Force Used on Pupil By Teacher where it states that “five blows with a ping-pong paddle is not unreasonable force“.

Most toilet seats broken by the head in one minute

2009-08-02T12:40:00.004-04:00

Embedding doesn't seem to be working, so go here.

How many goats are you worth?

2009-08-02T12:22:00.001-04:00

Apparently I'm worth 9.

http://www.howmanygoats.com/

Post #3007: Let's Make in Memorable

2009-07-29T11:41:00.000-04:00

To get our competitive streak going again, we are proud to present the blog's very own betting board. I know there was a lot of controversy behind the scenes as to the appropriateness of such an activity, but eventually clearer minds prevailed with a winning vote of 12 bloggers voting for the betting and only 5 bloggers opposed.

Besides, what else are we going to do with our new found wealth? That's right, according to this website, we are worth an estimated 274 million dollars!

The rules are simple, you can post odds that our blog will be willing to cover for any bet, with a maximum and/or minimum bet amount and a closing date. We will keep a running tally for all bets that have made.

Try and keep the maximum bets in check with the amount of money we have to give away, so that we can give everyone an equal opportunity to fleece our account.

I will get things started with two bets.

Gaby 'n Fish:

#1: NFLer Arrest: 1 - 2
Here's a simple bet to get us started. We are giving 1 to 2 odds that a current NFL player will be arrested sometime between August 3rd and August 24th, 2009 (maximum bet of $10,000.00 cnd, all bets must be placed before August 3rd). For those of you who are new to betting, that means if you think a current NFLer will be arrested in that time frame and you bet $2, you will win $1.

#2: Gaby will lactate: 10,000 to 1.
Here's an opportunity for you to bet $1,000 for a chance at winning $1, that is if you think I won't be able to breastfeed my child. However if you've got a strange feeling I'm one of the few men out there who can actually lactate, then all you have to do is bet $1 and you'll be taking home one grand of our blogs hard earned money.
Conditions for this bet are that I would have until the baby is one year old to successfully breastfeed (maximum bet of $100.00 cnd, all bets must be placed before the baby's 1 month bday).

Brilliant Entrepreneurial Spirit

2009-07-20T12:30:00.000-04:00

grammatical comment to June 16

2009-07-13T18:45:00.002-04:00

I added a comment to the post of June 16. I just thought I'd mention it here because I suspect no one would notice otherwise.

Donuts!

2009-07-13T17:15:00.002-04:00

TF, it's been a while since I've taken any digs at your Maple Leafs. Therefore, when I saw this article, I smiled. The subject is fun and the last line seems like it must have been authored by a Leaf's fan.

for AB

2009-07-08T22:38:00.001-04:00

Precisely 56 seconds into the thirty-fourth minute of today's twelfth hour, the time and date aligned in perfect numerical order. That's 12:34:56, 07/08/09.

What a way to go!

2009-07-08T19:09:00.001-04:00

Hope they don't try to sell this.

" ... statistically, Israel enjoys the second highest longevity rate in the world, bettered only by Japan,..." -jpost

2009-07-04T22:23:00.000-04:00

Happy Canada Day to all

2009-07-01T19:39:00.001-04:00

Praised be the metric system, socialized health care, and courteous driving! (oh and HOCKEY!)

Did you know that Michael Jackson's first two children are Jewish?

2009-06-29T04:29:00.001-04:00

Gaby 'n Fish wins NHL Playoff Pool

2009-06-16T08:55:00.002-04:00

For the second straight year Gaby 'n Fish dominated the competition to take the title in the NHL Playoff Pool. No one has been able to defeat the 'king of hockey' as one of his fellow bloggers calls him.

He's simply 'too intellectual for us' blogger, Captain Salamander, said after hearing the news of Gaby 'n Fish dominance. There's some murmurings that a few of the bloggers aren't interested in joining the playoff pool next year because the outcome seems to be predetermined, "how am I supposed to beat that genius? I can barely tie my shoes in the morning and half the time my cereal ends up in my nose instead of mouth!" exclaimed second place finisher Tommy.

Doughboy agrees "I would never consider entering a hockey pool with Gaby 'n Fish, it's plain dumb, that's like a sumo wrestler agreeing to enter a food eating contest that I've already registered for!".

And for some reason this one reminds me of Gaby

2009-06-15T05:56:00.001-04:00

A few old pictures of doughboy...

2009-06-15T05:27:00.004-04:00

NHL Playoff Pool

2009-05-16T23:12:00.000-04:00

I take Detroit and Pittsburgh in the Conference Finals.

An Outrageous Injustice!

2009-05-04T16:37:00.002-04:00

I was looking over the standings for last years playoff pool and noticed that points in the last round went uncounted! The real standings should be as follows:

1.Captain S =13
2. Hubby=12
3. Coachz and Gaby = 10
4. Doughboy=9
5. Jon, TF and Baquanim = 8
6. Eli is the manure eater with 6.

2009 NHL Playoffs - Round One Standings (REVISED)

2009-05-01T12:50:00.001-04:00

We have had a crushing amount of pressure regarding certain policies in presenting the playoff standings.

While it may be too tasking a chore to list every complaint, I will post two of them here:

Complaint #1 (from the Captain himself):

Gaby,

You forgot to identify "Manure" in the previous round.

Complaint #2 (from Doughboy):

"I cry shenanigans! Last year, there was a photoshopped image of the individual in last place eating poop. It should not be consistent from year to year, instead this year the person in second last place should be embarrassed with terribly photoshopped images."

While I am a man of many principles, I simply can not stand against such pressure and I must therefore surrender to the public opinion. I hope you're happy.

Regular posting?

2009-04-30T12:27:00.003-04:00

I decided to write for another blog and I wanted to copy and paste one here to get feedback from you guys. What do you think? any responses? Anyway, here it is.

Bobby Baun.

I know that for Americans, there is little meaning to that name. Bring it up in Toronto though and people will immediately free associate words like "heroic" and "selfless." Bobby Baun had one of the most iconic moments in hockey history. In game 6 of the Stanley Cup final between his Toronto Maple Leafs and the Detroit Red Wings, the largely defensive defenseman broke his ankle in the first period. He went to the locker room, got taped up, took some painkillers, and returned to score the overtime winner to force a game 7, which the Leafs also won. He is in the pantheon of sports heroes (Canadian sports heroes, but still).

Barry Bonds.

Barry Bonds is one of the most reviled figures in sports history. Bring up his name and people will immediately free associate words like "cheater" and "disgrace." As his career began to take a back seat to the home run record chase between Sammy Sosa and Mark McGuire, he allegedly used steroids and put in some of the best numbers in the history of baseball. Books have been written about how he defiled the game along with every other person from the steroid era of baseball.

I am not entirely certain why, as sports fans, we worship the players who use pain killers to get the most out of their bodies, who enhance their physique through painful and unnaturally long hours of body building, who get corrective eye surgery so that they can see the pitch better, while cursing the players who use steroids to get the most out of their bodies.

The uproar surrounding HGH is even more confusing to me than decrying steroids. Malcolm Gladwell has already written a perfect post on this issue and I do not need to reiterate his points. I wonder if the real problem is that the public generally do not have any idea about what HGH is. They are just scary initials to most people and have been lumped with steroids in the minds of the people. HGH speeds recovery so that a player can get back on the field after an injury as quickly as possible. Why is that different than what Bobby Baun, the hero of the Toronto Maple Leafs, did?

I was reminded of the topic of steroid and HGH use after reading a recent excerpt in Sports Illustrated for a new book detailing Roger Clemens' alleged steroid use. I don't care to link to the article because I don't think Clemens did anything newsworthy. He used then legal means to improve his ability to play the game that he loved. At worst, we should be indifferent. At best, we should see him as heroic, like we do Bobby Baun and all the other players who showed “guts” and “heart” by “sacrificing their bodies” and “playing through the pain."

2009 NHL Playoff Pool - Round One Standings

2009-04-30T10:27:00.001-04:00

2009 NHL Playoff Pool: Second Round

UPDATE: The deadline to submit your second round picks is Thursday, April 30, 2009 at 8:59 PM EDT

Here are the match-ups for the second round:

Eastern Conference
(1) Boston Bruins vs. (6) Carolina Hurricanes
(2) Washington Capitals vs. (4) Pittsburgh Penguins

Western Conference
(2) Detroit Red Wings vs. (8) Anaheim Ducks
(3) Vancouver Canucks vs. (4) Chicago Blackhawks

2009 NHL Playoffs - Round One

2009-04-19T19:44:00.001-04:00

2009 NHL Playoff Pool

2009-04-14T10:58:00.002-04:00

2009 NHL Playoff Pool: First Round

UPDATE: The deadline to submit your first round picks is Tuesday, April 14, 2009 at 7:29 PM EDT

Here are the match-ups for the first round:

Eastern Conference
(1) Boston Bruins vs. (8) Montreal Canadiens
(2) Washington Capitals vs. (7) New York Rangers
(3) New Jersey Devils vs. (6) Carolina Hurricanes
(4) Pittsburgh Penguins vs. (5) Philadelphia Flyers

Western Conference
(1) San Jose Sharks vs. (8) Anaheim Ducks
(2) Detroit Red Wings vs. (7) Columbus Blue Jackets
(3) Vancouver Canucks vs. (6) St. Louis Blues
(4) Chicago Blackhawks vs. (5) Calgary Flames

Rules:
(1) To participate in the pool, please post your 8 picks (4 East, 4 West) in the comments below. All predictions must be in before the first game of the first round - so post now! This same procedure will be repeated for the next three rounds, as the pairings are available.

(2) In addition, post your one predicted Stanley Cup winner now.

(3) For the series matchups, one point per correct prediction will be awarded. Two additional bonus points will be awarded for a correct Stanley Cup prediction.

(4) The blogger (or other person) with the most points will be awarded a prize (a jar containing three years of Gaby's collected navel lint).

(5) Of course, also feel free to post criticisms, insults, derogatory remarks, etc. regarding other bloggers' picks.

2009 NHL Playoff Pool

2009-04-14T10:51:00.002-04:00

It's that time of the year again.

Here are the standings from last year when Captain Salamander won the pool with inside information.

Mazel Tov!

2009-03-04T16:34:00.002-05:00

Mazel Tov to Jonny & Tamara Bell and family on the birth of a baby girl, Shira Batsheva, three weeks ago.

Homebrewing (Part 2 of 3)

2009-03-04T13:48:00.007-05:00

three weeks after homebrewing part one...

Caption #10: Three weeks have passed and I’m ready to start the second stage of fermentation, which consist of me adding priming sugar to the beer and bottling the beer. The second stage of fermentation adds the wonderful bubbles. A dangerous time follows, if I add too much sugar, the bottles will explode. Also, if you add dynamite the bottles will explode. Therefore dynamite and sugar are the same substance.

Caption #11: Notice all of those beer bottles. What a pain it was to acquire over 60 bottles of beer. After ‘The Beer Store’ refused to sell me their empty bottles for liability reasons, I had to stand outside ‘The Beer Store’ and offer people returning their empties 20 cents a bottle, twice the going rate. Most people thought something was fishy and just ignored me. Thankfully homeless people aren’t as judgmental as most people and were more than happy to take 20 cents a bottle (and remember twist off bottles can’t be used so I met a lot of the local homeless). No worries, I did more than a thorough job cleaning the bottles and then sanitized all of the bottles. You actually have to sanitize all of your equipment at every stage of the brewing process or you run the risk of contamination and syphilis.

Caption #12: I have now transferred the beer from the glass carboy to a big plastic pail using a siphon (siphon is not pictured). Fermentation has wrecked havoc on the glass carboy, leaving filthy sediment on the sides and bottom of the carboy. In order to clean the carboy I had to take a hanger, reshape it, put a sock over the reshaped hanger and scrub away. I’m a genius.

Caption #13: Bottle caps. Always boil your bottle caps before capping your bottles, or soak them in vodka. The red thing is a capper.

Caption #14: I can’t find my car keys.

Caption #15: Siphoning the beer into individual bottles. Siphons are hard to use.

Caption #16: The first 6 bottles are filled and capped. Just to make sure the capper worked, I turned one of the bottles upside down and noticed that my hands were getting wet, either I accidentally created sulfuric acid or my hands were bleeding beer.

Caption #17: Turns out boiling the caps was a big mistake, it caused the seal on the inside of the cap to come undone. Luckily I hadn’t boiled all of the caps, so all was not lost.

Caption #18: Did I mention how difficult it is to siphon? I lost way too much beer to the carpet in the kitchen, not to mention my clothes. I smelled worse than a homeless man, although that could be attributed to my fear of bathing.

Caption #19: Dinner.

Caption #20: What great colour. Now I just have to wait about two weeks for the secondary fermentation to complete itself and the beer will be ready to consume (this weekend will be two weeks). I still need a name, suggestions? And if anyone has time to make me labels…

Homebrewing (Part 1 of 3)

2009-03-04T11:50:00.002-05:00

I know many of you are probably thinking, homebrewing, why bother? Isn't it easier to just go to the nearest Shoppers Drug Mart and buy a case of Listerine? Well, it turns out they were sold out. Maybe I was trying to relive the days of prohibition and the thrill of making moonshine even though brewing your own beer is now legal as long as you don't sell it (I will consider serious barter offers though).

The real reason I decided to brew my own beer was as a hobby. My old hobby, sports, seems to have fallen by the wayside and since I never play sports anymore I figured the next logical step would be to make a high calorie beverage with my free time. It sounded better in my head.

According to homebrewing guru Charlie Papazian, whose book entitled "The Complete Joy of Homebrewing" I used as my trustworthy guide throughout the homebrewing experience, the first three steps in homebrewing are "Relax...Don't Worry...Have a Homebrew." Now I'm no expert, but I tried this for several weeks and it simply didn't work. I would sit on my couch and relax with no worries in the world and everywhere I looked I simply could not find a homebrew to drink. I eventually came to the conclusion that either Papazian has had a little too much homebrew or I have a secret room in my house that is now filled floor to ceiling with hombrewed beer.

Eventually I decided to take matters into my own hands and here's what I discovered. If you mix water, fermentable sugars (such as malted barley), yeast (that would be beer yeast, don't try using bread yeast, it's a completely different beast) and hops (a flower, rather bitter in taste) under the right conditions the yeast will convert the fermentable sugars into alcohol, carbon dioxide and the beautiful taste we refer to as beer. I also discovered that you need a whole bunch of equipment to conduct this process and that it's widely available at your local homebrewing store (in Ottawa that would be DeFalco's).

After I finished reading Papazian's homebrewing book I decided that I would make an Indian Pale Ale with my first batch of beer, hoping for a result somewhat similar to Alexander Keith's Indian Pale Ale, only better tasting. There are thousands of recipes and varieties of beers out there, so the choice was not an easy one, but I wanted to start with a simple recipe and I've always been fond of a cold Keith's on a summer's day.

I think I'm going to switch to pictures now, I've already used way too much of my brain's capacity as it is.

Caption #01: That's me pouring the malted barley, hops and sugar into a pot. I think my kitchen floor is slanted.

Caption #02: I've added water to the mix and boiled the ingredients for 45 minutes, something most homebrewing instructions leave out, but Papazian swears by boiling all of your ingredients before fermentation (other than the yeast). He also swears by eating his socks as a form of laundry.

Caption #03: Next, I've amputated my legs below the knees while adding more water to the big glass carboy (6 gallons big). This is where the first stage of fermentation will take place. It's also a good place to leave your car keys.

Caption #04: That's me again, adding the boiled malted barley, hops and sugar mix to the glass carboy with the aid of a funnel, funnily enough. Notice that I've also reattached my previously amputated limbs using only some used floss, a hanger and some duct tape.

Caption #05: A close up action shot, very exciting.

Caption # 06: Five gallons of soon to be beer (or roughly 20 litres or even more roughly 66 bottles of beer). I've put the fermentation lock on the glass carboy to prevent any unwanted organisms or bacteria folk from entering the carboy and messing everything up as they are wont to do.

Caption # 07: A close up shot of the aforementioned fermentation lock. Also works well on your front door, would be thieves have yet to solve the one protecting our home.

Caption # 08: After one day of fermentation somebody has miraculously broken the fermentation lock and added soap to the mixture, I will find that person and hunt them down.

Caption # 09: After one day and a couple of minutes of fermentation. Notice the dramatic change from the previous picture, notably I have moved closer to the carboy.

Stay tuned for the next batch of pictures, taken after three weeks of fermentation...

America's Got Talent

2009-03-01T00:04:00.000-05:00

Police Station toilet stolen...Cops have nothing to go on.

2009-01-25T23:02:00.000-05:00

Ah, so much fun...

2008-12-31T13:25:00.001-05:00

Ray Emery + Antoine Vermette

2008-12-17T22:49:00.001-05:00

More Mutant NHLers here. What's your favourite combo?

Mazel Tov!

2008-12-17T15:33:00.002-05:00

Mazel Tov to Aaron Kaiserman (a.k.a. Yeish Lanu Harbe Baquanim) and Laurie Sher-Doull on their engagement.

And I thought that they only put dead people on coins

2008-12-15T21:20:00.001-05:00

Click Here

Re: previous post...

2008-12-14T18:53:00.001-05:00

Triumph The Insult Comic Dog - Star Wars
Uploaded by ZaraV

New Religious Groups

2008-12-10T22:05:00.000-05:00

Great sign in Costa Rica

2008-12-08T00:14:00.002-05:00

For more great pics, including Elana's massive bruises from her "ATV accident" you can see them on her facebook page.

And yes, the sign was for a bathroom.

Why doesn't anyone post anymore?

2008-12-03T21:51:00.002-05:00

Time for another blog contest, perhaps.

Historical Election

2008-11-10T20:43:00.000-05:00

America's first black gay president:

Obama

2008-11-05T00:54:00.002-05:00

A great step for a great country.

Perhaps he will pave the way to people seeing others beyond colour, race & religion.

I loved his story of a 105 year old black woman going to vote for him. It was really inspirational. Good excuse to go through black history without making it about him. Too many shots of Oprah crying. He does sound a little bit like a preacher though. Especially with the whole "Yes We Can!" bit.

What a monumental night in history. I am so glad I didn't have to watch it on CBC. They had no feel for the gravity and enormity of the decision. Also they are really boring and didn't have all the racial breakdowns like ABC and Fox.

Just when you thought they couldn't cheapen Kabalah any further...

2008-10-26T14:22:00.002-04:00

You think that pop culture has done as much as it can to Kabalah? Think again. Check out the website for "Kabbalah Energy Drink" - the tacky beverage exploitation of Kabalah that's so ridiculous that even the "Kabbalah Center" made an official announcement to make sure no one thinks the drink is affiliated with them! And in case you were wondering...yes, it's kosher.

http://www.kabbalahenergydrink.com/home.html

MAZAL TOV TO MAXIEBABY AND WIFE AND NEW BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EXTREMELY HAPPY FOR Y'ALL!!!!!

2008-10-18T20:30:00.001-04:00

Holy Bus Batman!

2008-10-17T13:12:00.002-04:00

I was downtown today and I saw a bus I had never seen before. It was the 613. It was a special route that goes to Immaculata. I thought it was nice that OC Transpo has such a holy route.

Recut Trailers

2008-10-03T10:27:00.002-04:00

What's up everybody?! I know that it's been forever since I last posted, but I figured this was the best way to get the word out about something funny I've recently discovered. They're called "Recut" movie trailers and there's a ton of them up on YouTube. Most are pretty lousy, but the good ones are actually really funny. The Usual Suspects one is pretty good, but this one for The Shining is for sure the best. I figured most of you guys...especially Tommy would appreciate it.

http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=KmkVWuP_sO0

Congratulations to EBP

2008-10-02T22:48:00.002-04:00

On his victory in the 2008 OTI Baseball Draft, thanks to a 462 foot Jim Thome blast off of Nick Blackburn. Too bad I'm going to have to drop him.

Public Washroom SHE Building

2008-09-21T15:42:00.004-04:00

Sadly, I have spent about 5 years on the 5th and 6th floors of the Sally Horsfall Eaton Centre building (SHE if you will) at a certain university in downtown Toronto that is not UofT. It’s a relatively new building with all the ‘technology’ and windowless class rooms you can want in a modern day learning environment. On the 5th floor of the building, women started complaining about the long lineups for the women’s washroom. They complained how unfair it was because there are more women on that floor than men. This is true because most of the floor belongs to the early education program which consists almost entirely of female students and the token homosexual male student. The women argued that there should be a higher proportion of stalls for women because of the higher proportion of women on the floor. A few years back the decision was finally made to convert the only men’s washroom on the 5th floor into a second women’s washroom. I honestly don’t know why the solution to reducing lineups at the women’s washroom was to take the men’s washroom away, but it happened! From that day onward, any males on the 5th floor of the SHE building if for some reason required the privilege of using the facilities would have to use the single toilet washroom which is otherwise reserved for disabled people. I’m not sure if the reasoning behind that decision had anything to do with women’s belief that men have some kind of cognitive impairment, but the decision was made. It was also decided that this single toilet washroom retrofitted for people with disabilities that could also be shared if required by males, became open to female as well, in case they might require the privacy that only a single stall washroom can provide. If men have any problem with this, they are free to walk up to 6th floor and use the facilities there. It should be noted that on the 6th floor, the men’s and women’s washroom doors are facing each other. To describe to you the washroom on the 6th floor, if you should be fortunate to climb all the steps and make it there in time, if both doors to the men’s and women’s washroom happen to be open at the same time, people in the women’s washroom have a clear and direct view of anyone standing and using the urinals at the time. The washrooms do not seem to have been designed with a kind of barrier or second set of doors to impede the view of those relieving themselves at urinals. I’m not sure if the GabyN’Fish toilet expert has any comment about this situation or perhaps might at least provide some insight to enlighten me on the complexities and reasoning that went into this design and washroom politic.

For this story I have created a new symbol which represents the sexist ideology of the university.

Public Bathroom Strategy 101

2008-09-18T13:53:00.001-04:00

I've been meaning to start some sort of public bathroom advice piece for a while now, but I have never really got around to it until now.

My first column on ‘public bathroom strategy’ will be drawn from personal experience and will cover the ever so important issue of “what bathroom stall should I choose in a public bathroom?”

I can’t tell you how many people have come up to me and said “Gaby ‘n Fish, I’m in a real conundrum, I never know what bathroom stall to choose when I walk into a public bathroom and inevitably, I somehow manage to always end up in the one that resembles the aftermath of a nuclear war, can you help me?”

I usually need a little more information before proceeding to advise people in this situation. It all depends on your frequency of attendance at that particular public washroom. For example, I work in a fairly large building, with a public bathroom, which I frequent on a regular basis. This allows me to observe any abnormalities in the washroom and develop the best plan of action. For instance, I’m now so familiar with this particular public bathroom, that I know that the usually position of all the stall doors is open. That actually makes sense, if a door is closed it means that someone is behind it. However, there’s one exception, the third stall has a broken door and it is always closed. The strategy in this situation is fairly simple, most people assume that someone is in that third stall simply because it’s closed, but those people are mistaken, because that stall is not only empty, but it’s sparkling clean.

I’m fairly certain that the third stall has actually become my personal bathroom, because the toilet water is almost always blue. For those of you who are a little inexperienced in the world of public toilets, that means that no one has used the toilet since its last cleaning.

But what happens if you’re in a public bathroom for the first time, what factors should you consider when choosing a bathroom stall? Perhaps we can discuss this in a later column, wouldn’t want to give away all my secrets in one sitting (haha!).

Truly Amazing

2008-09-16T15:24:00.002-04:00

Yesterday I spray painted a bookshelf that I had bought for Torah High, as it was in dire need of a paint job and I learned a very valuable lesson: "Always listen to warnings".

Apparently you're supposed to wear a mask and gloves while spray painting, but I didn't take that too seriously. Anyhow, I now have sparkling white nose hair. Yes, you heard me right. It doesn't help that I have a huge nose (thus more nose hair) and very large nostrils (thus more visibility of the aforementioned numerous nose hairs).

At least I get a preview of what my nose will look like 50 years from now.

The Voldie Oldie

2008-09-11T13:33:00.001-04:00

"Concrete Sea" (Terry Jacks, 1972)